Saturday, January 24, 2009

Marriage from Islamic Perspective

I actually made this as a point for my presentation in parenting class with Dr Habeeb.


Islam has created marriage as a solution to avoid the destruction of family structure and the relationship between mankind becomes putrefied. Marriage became an essence to purify the relation between men and women and as to develop a beautiful conduct of discipline in Islam since Islam approved only the relation between two opposite gender only through marriage

Commandent of marriage:

Do not the unbelievers see that the heavens and the earth were joined together (as one unit of creation), before we clove them asunder? We made from water every Living thing. Will they not then believe? (21:30)

Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among yourselves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His grace: for Allah Encompasseth all, and He knoweth all things. (24:32)

If ye fear that ye shall not be able to Deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to Deal justly (with them), then only one, or (A captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice. (4:3)

Marriage as a Sunnah of all Prophets:

We did send apostles before thee, and appointed for them wives and children: and it was never the part of an apostle to bring a Sign except As Allah Permitted (or commanded). For each period is a Book (revealed). (13:38)

Marriage as a Sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH):

A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (PBUH) asking how the Prophet worshipped (Allah), and when they were informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said, "Where are we from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven." Then one of them said, "I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever." The other said, "I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast." The third said, "I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever." Allah's Apostle came to them and said, "Are you the same people who said so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does not follow my tradition in religion (Sunnah), is not from me (not one of my followers)."

The hadis above stated that the Prophet (PBUH) also marry women and he hates whoever that left or neglected his Sunnah is not one of his followers. It is a threat from the Prophet and means that it is compulsory upon mankind to follow his path. (Narrated by al-Bukhari from Anas bin Malik)

Commandment from Allah for mankind to lower their gaze and marriage as the solution:

Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that They should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that They should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that They should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small Children who have no sense of the Shame of sex; and that They should not strike their feet In order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye believers! Turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain bliss. (24:30-31)

We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari from Abdullah bin Mas’ud)

Choosing the bride from the view of al-Quran and al-Sunnah:

It may be, if He Divorced you (all), that Allah will give Him In exchange Consorts better than you,- who submit (their wills), who believe, who are devout, who turn to Allah In repentance, who worship (in humility), who travel (for Faith) and fast,- previously married or virgins. (66:5)

A woman is married for her religion, her beauty, her wealth and family. Choose woman that devoted to her religion, and you’ll be blessed. (Narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim from Abu Hurairah)

Commandment for wives to obey their husbands:

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if They return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance): for Allah is Most High, great (above you all). (4:34)

Responsibility of husbands toward their wives:

O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good. (4:19)

Let the women live in the same style as ye live, according to your means: annoy them not, so As to restrict them. And if they carry (life In their wombs), then spend (your substance) on them until They deliver their burden: and if They suckle your (offspring), give them their recompense: and take mutual counsel together, according to what is just and reasonable. And if ye find yourselves in difficulties, let another woman suckle (the child) on the (father's) behalf. (65:6)

Responsibility of husband and wife together:

The mothers shall give suck to their offspring for two whole years, if the father desires to complete the term. but He shall bear the cost of their food and clothing on equitable terms. no soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear. no mother shall be Treated unfairly on account of Her child. nor father on account of His child, an heir shall be chargeable In the same way. if They both decide on weaning, by mutual consent, and after due consultation, there is no blame on them. if ye decide on a foster-mother for your offspring, there is no blame on you, provided ye pay (the mother) what ye offered, on equitable terms. but fear Allah and know that Allah sees well what ye do. (2:233)

Polygamy in Islam:

If ye fear that ye shall not be able to Deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to Deal justly (with them), then only one, or (A captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice. (4:3)

Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: but turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so As to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practise self- restraint, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful. (4:129)

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